Letters
by Sylvanius
Summary: Struggling with his feelings for Daine, Numair begins to write down all of the words he has left unspoken. Post-ROTG in an AU where Numair never revealed his feelings and he and Daine never began a romantic relationship. Begins in 454 H.E., approximately 2 years after the end of the Immortals War. Frequent updates should be expected.
1. May 6, 454 HE

**Selections From the Private Records of Numair Salmalín**

 **May 5, 454 H.E.**

Dear Daine,

I love you.

Forever yours,

Numair


	2. June 15, 454 HE

**June 15, 454 H.E.**

Dear Daine,

I never gave you the last letter that I wrote and I don't know if I am disappointed in, or proud of myself. It's the first time that I've ever put the words into writing—I still haven't found the courage to give them voice. It was enough, anyway, and I felt better for a while.

For the first time in years I felt like I could breathe a little easier when I thought of you. To be fair, I think of you always. Every moment of my day you are with me. I wish it were as comforting as it sounds.

Yours,

Numair


	3. September 3, 454 HE

**September 3, 454 H.E.**

Daine,

I am so sorry. What if I ruin everything?

-Numair


	4. November 27, 454 HE

**November 11, 454 H.E.**

Dear Daine,

I almost said the words out loud to you. They were on the tip of my tongue. They were right there and you smiled and I-backed away. Again. All I could think was what if I told you and that smile went away?

I want things to remain as they are, but I want to hold you. I want to keep my secret mine, but I want to share my life with you. I want to tell you but I can't conjure the words. I am so afraid that I will want you so much that I will lose any part of you I have.

This will have to be enough.

I want to make one thing clear. I do love you. I love you desperately and with a fervor that consumes me more each day. I wonder if one day I will cease to exist and where I once was will only be love for you.

You always said I had a flair for the dramatic.

Still yours,

Numair


	5. February 12, 455 HE

**February 12, 455 H.E.**

Daine,

I wonder if you know. I wonder if you feel sorry for me, or pity me. I pity myself, some days. I am sure you have noticed that it's been a while since I have taken a lover. I always know you notice, as I'm sure you know how I notice yours.

We never talk about it. I sometimes let myself imagine that you're jealous. It's not a good quality, I admit, but it makes me feel better when I am wishing that you were the one in my arms.

You haven't said anything—is it uncomfortable for you? Do you not care? I worry that you know how I feel and that you are hoping I will never say it; that you can go on pretending things have not changed because you don't want to let me down.

I find myself thinking that I should pull away and let you go. I've tried before. You were being courted by some clerk—quite a while ago now. I shouldn't imply that I don't remember his name. I know all of their names. I know everything about each one of them. I know what all of them can give you that I can't. I know what I can give you that none of them ever can.

I backed away and it just about killed me. You, my impertinent Magelet, called me a number of names that have no place in civil conversation and that was the end of it.

I flatter myself sometimes that you were so relentless in preserving our relationship, but then again you have always been protective of your friends.

Things change though. I'm not sure how interested in him you were—or those since—but there will be others and one day there will be one; the only one who matters to you. Until then, I will bide my time and write my letters.

Your friend,

Numair


	6. March 6, 455 HE

**March 6, 455 H.E.**

Daine,

I know you thought I was being pert but you really did look beautiful tonight—horse dung and all.

Numair


	7. September 22, 455 HE

**September 22, 455 H.E.**

Daine,

I know I owe you an apology, and I know I am being stubborn. You are a grown woman and you have the right to pursue your own relationships without interference. I know this because I tell myself this very fact over and over again. Not that it helps, evidently.

I should not have scared him off. I should not have dismissed your irritation ( _irritation_ may be an understatement).

I will apologize next time I see you. I will probably make the excuse of being over-protective. I will know it's a lie. You might, I'm not sure. You will almost definitely call me a Dolt. I will deserve it.

I just couldn't spend tonight like every other. Waking up, wanting you. Wondering who you had chosen instead.

Love,

Numair


End file.
